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"Another! Another!" Norris barked. He
scampered through the brush off to the side of the wagon, daring
thorns to scratch his bare skin.
Heather brought the wagon to a halt
absently. The crossing of the Channel had been exhausting,
but her slowness in pulling the wagon of late was due more to the
drag they all felt from the death of Calliope than from anything
physical. Norris' discovery of the airplanes had been a welcome
distraction.
"What have you got there, son?" Freedomhowler
called from his seat atop the wagon, trying to voice more
enthusiasm than he felt.
"Triplane!" Norris called, running back and
forth in front of the wreckage. "Come see!"
It was the fifteenth smashed German plane
they'd come across since Dover, but the first triplane.
At this point, Freedomhowler was a knot of
frustration and could think of nothing he wanted less than another
interruption in their journey. The "Nature's Own Remedy"
reworking of the show was turning out to be a near-complete bust.
Norris' newfound healing abilities were shaky at best, and had
been less and less reliable as the month wore on.
Without Calliope, they really didn't have an old show to
fall back on, and it was terribly difficult to wring money from an
audience when the performers themselves seemed unsure of what they
were doing.
And there were other problems.
Wild Bill was being particularly
troublesome. He just wouldn't keep quiet about Calliope -- kept
talking about what a tragedy his death had been, and how he'd be
sorely missed, and that night when they'd all stayed up late,
gotten drunk, and Cal had taken a burning stick from the fire and
revealed that he could light his whistles. The constant reminders
were making it near impossible for Freedomhowler to get on with
life.
Then there was Drake's will. Even though he
knew the key, he was still having a terrible time decoding the
thing. He had promised the man that he'd follow its instructions,
only to find that the first sentences ordered whoever was reading
it to stop doing so and kill himself immediately. Ha, ha.
Joke's on me. It had rather sapped his enthusiasm for
revealing the document's secrets.
And that whole time travel business just
wouldn't leave his mind alone. He kept second guessing what he
had done with the device. If he had kept it, could he have
written Drake out of his life before he'd entered it? Avoided that
weird hunchback with the drum who seemed at the root of so many
problems? Just gone back ten years and invested in businesses
that he now knew would be successful? The thing should be whiskey
spilled and gone, but he couldn't stop from trying to think of
some way to get it back in the bottle.
All that shape changing and magic had thrown
a turd into the still as well. Probably the hardest hit was
Heather -- something about being dainty and attractive for a spell
had done a number on her libido, and the woman was spending a lot
more time eying the men in the audience than she ever had before.
It had done nothing to reign in her strength, however, and only a
week back the intensity of her lovemaking had left the son of a
burgomaster paralyzed, hastening their departure from the
continent.
Thinking of problems with the troupe brought
him back to Norris. The boy had been acting more of a mutt of
late than ever before. He was getting mighty ornery about putting
on pants, even when people were around, and had once bared his
teeth at Grenadine when she tried to insist he get dressed. Ah
well, he thought, might as well all pile out to look at his latest
find. There was no harm in humoring him, and Freedomhowler
supposed the troupe needed every distraction.
He was just standing to climb down from the
wagon to rouse Grenadine when a voice, clear and sharp in the
afternoon air, stilled him.
"Stay where you are. Sit back down and don't
move. Those of you in the wagon, hold your place. Do as you are
told and nobody gets hurt."
A young man stood at the edge of the road a
few feet in front of the wagon. He appeared no more than twenty
and was dressed like a city gentleman, save for a gun belt that
hung low across his hips. The tooled-leather could have been a
hundred years old, but the guns -- one in its holster a hair from
the man's hovering left hand, and the other pointed square between
Freedomhowler's wide eyes -- were as bright as polished silver.
The young man held the gun with the same casual assurance that
Annie had held her rifle back in the days with Wild Bill, and this
fact frightened Freedomhowler more than the presence of the
weapons themselves.
The only weapons at Freedomhowler's disposal
were his eloquence and the rifle beneath his seat. Had there been
opportunity, he would have preferred to rely on the latter.
"Dear sir," Freedomhowler said, trying to
sound amicable with no hint of condescension. "I am afraid you
have made a mistake. We are but poor --"
The man with the sixguns cut him off. "You
speak when you're spoken to or I declare I'll leave you for the
buzzards instead of giving you a proper burial. Now call in your
--" he hesitated, perhaps searching for the right word before
settling on "-- dog, before we have a misunderstanding that
gets someone shot before their time."
Only then did Freedomhowler notice Norris
slinking through the underbrush off the road not more than ten
feet behind the gunman. The dog-boy had been silent so far as he
could tell, but had somehow been sensed anyway.
It took two calls before Norris obeyed
Freedomhowler's order to come stand by the wagon, and even then he
did so reluctantly.
"That's all to the good," the gunman said.
"Now let's see how still you can be."
The gunman was too far away for Freedomhowler
to reach with a spit of flame, so he hazarded another attempt to
talk his way out of the situation. "I assume you're a fellow
American, suh," he said, "judging by your accent."
"And I'd guess you're a Southern gentleman,
judging by your inability to shut your mouth. I'll be
putting 'Kentucky' on your headstone, is that right?"
"It is," Freedomhowler said, only realizing
what he'd agreed to after the words tumbled out. Wild Bill was
throwing a fit in his head, making it impossible to think
straight.
The gunman then made what looked like the
biggest mistake imaginable. He took his eyes off Freedomhowler
and turned his head to speak to Heather
"Pardon, ma'am," the gunman said.
That seemed like Freedomhowler's cue. He
reached under the wagon seat and grabbed for his rifle. The
weapon's stock had barely come into view when it exploded,
spraying his face with splinters.
"I'm trying to talk to the lady here," the
gunman said. "You keep your peace." The smoking gun barrel
seemed to track the space between Freedomhowler's eyes as he sat
back in his seat.
"Now," the gunman said, turning back to
Heather. "I was going to ask you, ma'am, if you can take that
harness off yourself or if I need to get you some help."
"I dinna need any 'elp," Heather said,
managing a cold smile. Freedomhowler could tell she was wishing
the highwayman was within arm's reach.
"Good. Take it off."
Heather did so, letting the harness fall to
the road.
"Now, off with you," the gunman said, giving
a little nod down the road.
Heather stood, blinking.
"Go on, off with you. It's okay. I've got
them covered."
"I dinna understand," Heather said.
"I'm setting you free, woman. Go!"
Freedomhowler laughed, his relief making the
sound too loud and drawing a twitch from the gun. "The boy thinks
you're being held against your will, my dear! Indeed! As if such a
thing were possible!"
Heather's eyes brightened up like a spring
day. "You were trying t' save me?"
The man lowered his gun. "You're not his
captive?"
Heather bit her upper lip, smiled, and shook
her head. She almost looked girlish, and the sight gave
Freedomhowler an odd feeling in his stomach.
"Is everything all right?" Grenadine asked,
peeking out from behind the wagon.
"Aye, it's bonnie fine!" Heather said.
The man holstered his sixgun. "I'm a mite
embarrassed about this," he said, turning to Freedomhowler. "I do
believe an apology is in order."
"Not at all, son, not at all!" Freedomhowler
said, too relieved to demand his due. He climbed down from the
wagon. "It was right honorable of you to attempt a rescue,
misinformed as it might have been."
Freedomhowler walked to the man and extended
his hand, "Professor Bernhard Freedomhowler, impresario, general
manager, proprietor, and professor de-lux of Freedomhowler's
Internationally-Acclaimed Traveling Exhibition of Medicinal
Wonderment, and proud purveyor of Nature's Own Remedy, at your
service."
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